Heavy green fumes rise from a huge cauldron and fill the alchemist's dungeon. A decrepit old man dressed in stained and singed burlap robes strokes his long thin beard, observing a large, inert figure of a stone golem chained to the walls.

"There, there," he mutters in an old, feeble voice, as he pats the golem. "Soon you will come to life, at last, the horror of my own creation!" He turns to the potions room, from which he hears some clattering noises. "Loric, you goat's sphincter, hurry up!", yells the alchemist "This pile of rocks will die of old age before you get your job done."

A scrawny, put upon assistant drags a huge basket of potion ingredients with him. "Yes, Maester Bulbus, it's all here."

Barely containing his glee, the alchemist rummages through the basket. "At last!", he exclaims, pulling out a lock of black fur and throwing it into his cauldron. "The final ingredient, the rage of a wolf, will complete my war golem! Oh, the king will be so happy."

"Um, did you say 'rage of a wolf'?" mumbles Loric. He watches in horror as the green smoke coming out of the cauldron turns golden.

After some mad cackling, Maester pours the completed potion into the golem's mouth, and jumps back. With a roar, the golem starts moving, struggles against his chains, breaks himself loose, and takes heavy steps towards Maester. Maester gulps in fear, and tries to run, only to be picked up by the golem's hands and squeezed into a hug.

Maester slaps the golem with his feeble hands, and weasels his way out of the hug, "get off of me!". Then turns to Loric "What have you messed up this time!? This golem was supposed to be filled with rage, it was supposed to rip me in half and eat my guts, why is it hugging me!"

Loric "Um, sir, we ran out of the wolf's fur, so I figured the butt tuft from Noodle, your golden retriever, would be close enough."

"Close enough? Close enough!?" screams Maester, "The king will execute me, how is he supposed to go into battle with... with this!"

The golem licks his face, spins in a circle, and joyfully pees on the carpet.