A vampire castle is a massive shadow outlined by moonlight. Inside, empty dark hallways covered in spider webs. At the end of one hallway, warm light comes from the bathroom, sounds of splashing and singing.

In the bathroom, a chubby old man with a crooked nose sings as he's taking a shower. Starts with quiet humming, but gets more and more into it, until he screams into the shower head like a rock musician at a concert.

He's in the middle of a sick air guitar riff when a dark, pale figure stalks into the room. "What in damnation are you doing, Squidge?"

"Oh, greetings, master! Just taking a shower."

"Your mirth is unwelcome in these dark halls. We dwell in solitude, contemplating the emptiness of our rotten souls, not sing and dance like teen girls."

"With all due respect, master, this is a weekend. I worked hard serving you during the week, now I relax in my time off. Work hard play hard, you know?"

"There's no such thing as time off when you are bound to serve your vampire lord for all of eternity! Cease this at once!"

"With all due respect, my lord, I beg the differ. Haven't you met with our union rep yet? We, minions, now have weekends, dental insurance, even paid vacations!"

Flames of rage burn in the vampire's eyes. "I will destroy you for such insolence!"

"And then what? Fetch your own slippers, polish your own coffin, torture your own prisoners? All by yourself? Times are changing, milord, if you want to have subservient minions, you need to provide good working conditions, otherwise I'll explore my opportunities elsewhere. I did get a very appealing offer from the Romanian Werewolf who terrorizes several local villages. Please close the door on your way out, your horribleness."

The vampire growls with fury, and stalks off.